Special ways to involve and honor your parents at your wedding.

A wedding is not only a significant milestone for the couple but also for parents, and although we expect a wedding to be a reflection of the couple, it is equally a big deal for parents and having them involved will make them feel celebrated and loved. 

The parents who have loved and cared for you since you were a baby see you now all grown up and about to start a family of your own. Giving honor, acknowledging, and allowing them to bask in the glory of that moment with you is a powerful demonstration of the value you place on their role in your life. Not to mention that they might be helping you fund a significant portion of your wedding.

There is an endless list of ways to honor your parents on your wedding day, commonest among them being; having both of them walk you down the aisle, sharing a father-daughter, mother-son dance and thank you speeches.

Today we list some unique ways to your get parents involved in your wedding. 

Help with the planning process.

Understanding which aspects your parent is most interested in or feels strongly about is a good starting point. For example, if your mother is keen on decoration, why not let her handle meetings with the decorators? This is of course if you trust her judgement. Alternatively, you could ask them to accompany you to meetings with service providers, whether its food or cake tasting, or wedding dress shopping and fittings.

Mother and daughter bonding over wedding dress shopping. Credit; Kleinfeld Bridal.

Ask them to recite wedding readings or prayers.

Wedding ceremonies usually have a session of bible readings, why not ask your parents to recite them?! A great role to give to a parent to pray for your love and marriage, at the same time a perfect opportunity to honor the family religion or culture they espouse.

Let your parents be the ring bearers.

Sweet yet simple, another way to involve parents in your wedding ceremony is to ask them to hold onto the wedding rings. However short the moment, its significance won’t be lost on your parents. It's a beautiful way to honor them especially if they have a long and happy marriage they can 'warm your rings with.'

Ask them to sign the marriage license.

A marriage license is a legal document that is signed by two witnesses in order for a marriage to be official. Your parents can take this great honor of  being witnesses to your special occasion by signing your marriage license. Double check with your wedding officiant to ensure your parents are eligible to do these honors in the jurisdiction where you’re getting married.

Ask them to join the processional.

A wedding processional is a group of people walking down the aisle in a specific order to mark the beginning of a wedding ceremony. The processional usually includes the flower girls, ring bearers, the groom, bride, and entourage and sometimes parents. This can be a perfect moment to involve your parents. The most common option is fathers walking their daughters down the aisle, however, all parents can take part in this tradition. Each or both parents can escort their child down the aisle.

They can as well join the wedding party procession before or after the couple as the reception begins.

Include them in the wedding party.

A non-traditional way to include your parents in your wedding is to ask them to be among your wedding party or entourage. I mean, who wouldn’t want their mom as their maid of honor or their dad as their best man? It makes sense, given that these roles are usually given to the couple’s closest friends, and in some cases your parents are your best friends.

Exchanging souvenirs.

Gifting is often one common way to show appreciation to parents, but what if you could add a little twist of intentionality as well. Instead of giving them a cake, the norm with most Ugandan weddings, try presents that showcase how much their role in your life has meant to you by making the gift more experimental, for example, engraved jewelry, all-expense paid trip.

Use mementoes from their wedding.

Using little things from your parents’ wedding at your own is a non-verbal cue for, "I love what you...have and I want to start my journey how you started yours..." For example, a bride wearing her mother’s wedding dress may signal that she wants what her mum had for marriage. It doesn’t need to pertain only to physical items either, you could play their first dance song for your first dance or entrance song.

So, what happens if you and your parents clash on a particular aspect of your wedding. Perhaps your mother-in-law feels very strongly that you should wear her wedding dress, but this is something you are vehemently opposed to. Then it’s time to get some perspective- how will this one thing affect the overall experience of the day for you. If it’s something you know will make them happy and you can live with it, then let it go. If it’s, however, something you truly cannot get on board with, let them down gently, give them some insight into why this is not something you are comfortable with and then try to suggest an alternative.

In all this, remember, it is about being intentional. And as wedding planners, we can help you incorporate and coordinate all these personal effects into your big day to bring out the joy and effects of a lifetime.

Reach out to us at planner@nyomplanet.com